Dear Rev Jackson,

 

Good to see you back in the news, bro. I caught your new gig at the rally in Jena last night. Got to admit, I've been so busy studying (college is way hard) that I haven't had time to pay attention to the news.

 

I turned up the volume once I saw you on TV, but I only caught the tail end of the segment. Question: What's the deal? The biased [white] media made it sound like six black guys piled onto one white guy and kicked the s*** out of him. Was he the guy that tried to lynch our brothers? Could you please let me know exactly what you're protesting against? 

 

My black studies professor gives class credit for 'protesting' so I figure, why not get involved in the fight against racism. I feel kinda bad cause I, personally, haven't experienced any, but I hear there's a new kind of racism called institutional racism. Can you let me know what this is?

 

Since I owe you (and Reverend Sharpton) a big debt for the way you guys have been championing blacks, I figured it's time I got involved. Besides, it looked like everyone was having fun, meeting up and hookin up. And to be truthful dude, I can use the extra credit. Like I said, college is way hard.

 

Hey, Jesse,

 

Way cool to hear from you, man. I sure appreciate you writing me back so quickly. Your reply blew me away. Boy, I had no idea America was still such a racist society! Go figure. Pretty clever how whitey has been fooling me all this time. I figured since I never saw or experienced any racism, that it wasn't there. Glad you set me straight. That 'institutional racism' is bad stuff. All the harder to fight cause it's invisible. Pretty sneaky of whitey, I must say.

 

I agree with you 100% that the only guy convicted in the assault of that racist white devil was discriminated against. Trying him as an adult at age 16...how low can you go? I also agree that it was way sneaky of whitey to dismiss the charges against the other 5 brothers. But I have a question: Now that whitey has thrown out those charges, what are you protesting against?

 

I understand they suspended the three white devils who placed nooses in a tree. Are they the victims? Or is it Michael Bell? Or the 5 black brothers that had the charges thrown out? You'll have to set me straight, bro, so I know what to put on my placard.

 

Yeah, you guessed it! My professor has given me leave, (and tons of extra credit) to come on down to Jena to help you out. Pretty cool, huh? I just hope you can keep the outrage going for another few days since my new car is in the shop and I won't be able to make it down till next weekend. Yeah, my new car is in the shop after only 40,000 miles. That white car dealer saw me coming....what a lemon. Well, now I'm experiencing that institutional racism you were talking about. No way am I going to stand for it. That white cracker will learn not to mess with blacks when my lawyer is through with him. You bet.

 

Gotta run. The president of our college has made it mandatory to attend this lecture given by Al Gore. We get extra credit for it...but if they think I can be swayed to switch my protest from racism to the environment, they've got another thing coming. I'm with you and my black brothers all the way! 

 

PS. Question: Ever since I bought that new car, I've been a little low on funds. Is it really mandatory to sign up and pay dues to your Rainbow Coalition before I'll be allowed to fight the good fight? Let me know.

 

 

Dear Reverend Jackson,

 

Sorry I didn't make it down to Jena. Some of our black sisters had a weekend bash that I had to attend. But you'll be glad to know I still got that extra credit from by black studies professor. He was so impressed by my intentions (and the letter from you didn't hurt) that he's giving me an A. Rad!

 

By the way, did you know that our black sisters are twice the victims we are? I was totally suprised to find out how much they suffer from male patriarchy. Boy, talk about oppression! I had no idea all this victimization and racism was going on right under my nose. I intend to learn more about it pretty quick. I've signed up for 'America, Patriarchy and the Black Woman', a cool course offered by our excellent woman's studies program. I'm gaining a whole new perspective on how things really work. Besides, chicks as victims is a cause I can really support.(Weren't you involved in something like that, too?)

I've got you to thank for setting me straight. I owe you, man. And just as soon as I get the payoff from that racist car dealer, first thing I'm going to do is send you a little taste. You're the man.

Kamil Jabazz

 

 

Nancy Morgan is a columnist and talk show host. She is senior editor of conservative news site www.RightBias.com

 

 

Article may be reprinted, with attribution