Dear Reverend Jackson...|
September 21, 2007
Dear Rev Jackson,
Good to see you back in the news, bro. I caught your new gig at the rally in Jena
last night. Got to admit, I've been so busy studying (college is way hard)
that I haven't had time to pay attention to the news.
I turned up the volume once I saw you on TV, but I only caught the tail end of the
segment. Question: What's the deal? The biased [white] media made it sound like
six black guys piled onto one white guy and kicked the s*** out of him. Was he the
guy that tried to lynch our brothers? Could you please let me know exactly what
you're protesting against?
My black studies professor gives class credit for 'protesting' so I figure, why
not get involved in the fight against racism. I feel kinda bad cause I, personally,
haven't experienced any, but I hear there's a new kind of racism called institutional
racism. Can you let me know what this is?
Since I owe you (and Reverend Sharpton) a big debt for the way you guys have been
championing blacks, I figured it's time I got involved. Besides, it looked like everyone
was having fun, meeting up and hookin up. And to be truthful dude, I can use the
extra credit. Like I said, college is way hard.
You can contact me on my cell 555-3387, or my Blackberry 555-3856 or text message
me on my new iPhone or check me out on MySpace. Oops, almost forgot, you can also
e-mail me at badblackdude@yaho,com. Can't
wait to hear from you, man. I'm ready to do my part.
Way cool to hear from you, man. I sure appreciate you writing me back so quickly.
Your reply blew me away. Boy, I had no idea America was still such a racist society! Go
figure. Pretty clever how whitey has been fooling me all this time. I figured since
I never saw or experienced any racism, that it wasn't there. Glad you set me straight.
racism' is bad stuff. All the harder to fight cause it's invisible. Pretty sneaky
of whitey, I must say.
I agree with you 100% that the only guy convicted in the assault of that racist
white devil was discriminated against. Trying him as an adult at age 16...how low
can you go? I also agree that it was way sneaky of whitey to dismiss the charges
against the other 5 brothers. But I have a question: Now that whitey has thrown
out those charges, what are you protesting against?
I understand they suspended the three white devils who placed nooses in a tree.
Are they the victims? Or is it Michael Bell? Or the 5 black brothers that had the
charges thrown out? You'll have to set me straight, bro, so I know what to put on
Yeah, you guessed it! My professor has given me leave, (and tons of extra credit)
to come on down to Jena to help you out. Pretty cool, huh? I just hope you can keep
the outrage going for another few days since my new car is in the shop and I won't
be able to make it down till next weekend. Yeah, my new car is in the shop after
only 40,000 miles. That white car dealer saw me coming....what a lemon. Well, now
I'm experiencing that institutional racism you were talking about. No way am I going
to stand for it. That white cracker will learn not to mess with blacks when my lawyer
is through with him. You bet.
Gotta run. The president of our college has made it mandatory to attend this lecture
given by Al Gore. We get extra credit for it...but if they think I can be swayed
to switch my protest from racism to the environment, they've got another thing coming.
I'm with you and my black brothers all the way!
PS. Question: Ever since I bought that new car, I've been a little low on funds.
Is it really mandatory to sign up and pay dues to your Rainbow Coalition before
I'll be allowed to fight the good fight? Let me know.
Dear Reverend Jackson,
Sorry I didn't make it down to Jena. Some of our black sisters had a weekend bash
that I had to attend. But you'll be glad to know I still got that extra credit from
by black studies professor. He was so impressed by my intentions (and the letter
from you didn't hurt) that he's giving me an A. Rad!
By the way, did you know that our black sisters are twice the victims we are? I
was totally suprised to find out how much they suffer from male patriarchy. Boy,
talk about oppression! I had no idea all this victimization and racism was going
on right under my nose. I intend to learn more about it pretty quick. I've signed
up for 'America, Patriarchy and the Black Woman', a cool course offered by our excellent
woman's studies program. I'm gaining a whole new perspective on how things really
work. Besides, chicks as victims is a cause I can really support.(Weren't you involved
in something like that, too?)
I've got you to thank for setting me straight. I owe you, man. And just as soon
as I get the payoff from that racist car dealer, first thing I'm going to do is
send you a little taste. You're the man.
Nancy Morgan is a columnist and talk show host. She is senior editor
of conservative news site
Article may be reprinted, with attribution