Top Idiots Of The Week|
October 5, 2008
We have a clear winner in this week's awards. By far, the biggest idiot of the week
has to be:
Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney, who
was caught on video
accusing the U.S. Department of Defense of executing 5,000 prisoners Chinese-style
and dumping their bodies in a Louisiana swamp. Maybe she's just off her meds.
Second place has to go to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. She gave a five minute speech
tearing into Republicans right
before a crucial vote on the government bailout bill, where, it turns out, she could
have used their votes. She lost. Moral of the story: Don't gloat before you vote.
Third place goes to Harvard University. They held a ceremony Thursday
awarding researchers for studying
fertility of exotic dancers, plant dignity, enhanced potato chip crunch, flea jumping
abilities and spermicidal uses for Coca-Cola. I wonder what jobs are available with
those kind of qualifications.
Rep. Barney Frank makes this week's list for going on the O'Reilly
Factor to defend the indefensible. He got a very public spanking
. We can't figure out if it was idiocy
or just plain old hubris.
A Colorado teen hired men to kill his mother
so he could use her money
to get breast implants for his girlfriend.
* This poor idiot shot himself
after being denied sex by his girlfriend. He
was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling.
He is being held on $100,000 bail.
An amateur chef died
the day after eating a "superhot" chilli
in a bet with his friend over who could make the hottest dish.
Luke Schreder thought a police officer looked like he just "needed a hug"
so he ran up to him and stuck out
his arms. He was arrested for assault on a peace officer, public intoxication and
interference with official acts. When he gets out, he should consider going into
Two armed robbers hijacked a security van
with $1.3 million inside but were
forced to abandon more than half the cash because their small getaway car could
not carry it all.
First place goes to authors of a new report
which states: 'People will have to be rationed
to four modest portions of meat and one litre of milk a week if the world is to
avoid runaway climate change.'
Second place winner is a fellow who believes this junk. For
the past nine months, Dave Chameides has been filling his basement
with every single thing he would ordinarily
recycle or toss into the trash. He's doing this in order to reduce his carbon footprint
and save the world. I know I'll be sleeping easier tonight.
Polar bears will also be able to sleep easier thanks to the
brave scientists in California who are actually testing the hearing of polar bears
to try to find out whether
the noises associated with melting Arctic ice could affect their ability to survive.
How could we have eco-idiots awards without mentioning Father Earth algore? Al Gore
said in San Jose on Saturday that the climate crisis deserves
the same type of attention
and money from Washington that the financial meltdown is getting. The scary thing
is, this man almost became president. Whoa baby!
From the Just Plain Nasty files:
Hustler founder, Larry Flynt has made an X-rated movie
using an adult-film actress who is a dead
ringer for Sarah Palin.
In an effort to leave you with a little hope for the future, we feel we should mention
Alan Fishman, named CEO of Washington Mutual just 18 days before federal regulators
seized it, will not accept a multimillion-dollar severance payment
even if he is entitled to it, a spokesman representing him said Wednesday. Some
would consider him an idiot. We don't.
publishes the Top Idiots Of The
Week Awards every weekend. Feel free to forward any idiotic news you feel deserves