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Cartoons
Cartoons Last Updated: April 1, 2015
Courtesy: Pooki18


There are 54 cartoons available.


  



Late Night Jokes  
Last updated: March 31
Courtesy: Newsmax


Conan
Thursday Night, March 26

At March Madness one of the Sweet 16 teams is Notre Dame. I'm sorry, but if I want to watch the Fighting Irish I'll visit my parents.

Vin Diesel said that "Fast and Furious 7" will win the Oscar for best picture. He's being kept in a hospital overnight for observation.

McDonald's is introducing a Big Mac clothing line. Of course there already is a clothing line for Big Mac lovers. It's called a hospital gown.

According to a new study, human waste contains gold and other special minerals. In the future this could make things awkward when a cashier asks, "How would you like to pay for that"? 


Late Show With David Letterman
Wednesday Night, March 25

How many of you intentionally don't pay your taxes? Me, neither. Whenever I go there to my accountant's office, I'm taken up in the elevator blindfolded. I said, "I'm worried about having money for retirement." He said, "Don't worry, you'll get your cut."

We have Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham all running for president. It's all part of the Republican plan to make Jeb Bush look presidential.

And by the way, did you know that Ted Cruz was born in Canada? Now Canada has released this statement: "American voters should be aware that while presidential candidate Ted Cruz was in fact born in Canada, he has renounced his Canadian citizenship." One down, one to go.

Mitt Romney, two-time presidential campaigner, will step into the boxing ring and he will be fighting Evander Holyfield, who, to my knowledge, has never run for president.


 

 
 
 

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
  Thursday Night, March 26

Republican candidate Ted Cruz said recently that in the 36 hours after he announced that he's running for president, he’s raised over a million dollars. And Hillary Clinton closed her checkbook and said, “Happy to help. Can't wait."

Ted Cruz raised over a million dollars after announcing that he’s running for president. Which is why today RadioShack announced that it is also running for president.

NASA’s Mars rover just completed its first marathon after it spent the last 11 years traveling over 26 miles. Of course, the rover from Kenya was able to do it in just nine years.

It took 11 years for NASA’s Mars rover to go 26 miles. Or as my grandma calls that, “driving.”


Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Friday Night, March 27

Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, “I didn't even know they were dating.”

Yeah, the president will meet with Pope Francis at the White House in September. The two will meet for about an hour or so, and then the Pope will spend the rest of the day hearing confessions from Secret Service agents.

Oprah is auctioning off over a million dollars' worth of her belongings from her Chicago apartment. Or as she calls them, "her least favorite things."

Willie Nelson is apparently developing his own brand of weed and bongs. Which I guess is like his version of Oprah's garage sale.    

 
                                
 
    Late Night With Seth Meyers
  Wednesday Night, March 25

Zayn Malik has officially left One Direction. I saw this coming as soon as he started dating Yoko Ono.

Ted Cruz is signing up for Obamacare. This is like finding out Jenny McCarthy went in for a flu shot.

Burger King stores in Japan are reportedly planning to sell Whopper-scented cologne for those special occasions when you want to smell like the inside of a fat guy's car. You probably have the surrounding odors. Save your money.

A new restaurant in New York has just opened and serves dishes made only from food scraps donated from other restaurants. Said Arby's, "They're on to us, every man for himself.”

In some good-luck news, a man coming out of surgery has won $7 million on a lottery ticket that was tucked in his get-well card. And after paying his hospital bills, he still has $900 left.  

 


 
 
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