J. Matt Barber:
Obama’s Coed Bathroom Madness ...
Warning: Democrats At Work|
March 3, 2008
Liberal Democrats were very busy last week conducting the people’s business. In
the Senate, our dedicated public servants spent the week debating a plan by Sen.
Russ Feingold to begin withdrawing troops from Iraq by July. Alas, the plan was
a few votes short. After failing to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, Senate
Majority Leader Harry Reid (Democrat) passionately vowed “The anti-war fight will
Meanwhile, in Iraq, several positive indicators show the tide may have turned. Due
to the success of the surge, violence is down a whopping 80%. The Iraqi government
is finally stepping up, having passed several key pieces of legislation recently.
I believe this is called ‘political progress'. Maliki stated that Iraq has achieved
stability and overcome sectarian strife. Good news, indeed.
‘The people’ the Democrats claim to represent were briefly in the news, as Gunnery
Sgt. William Gibson, a dedicated Marine, returned to Iraq for a second tour. This,
after having his leg amputated above the knee. Sgt. Gibson is but one of thousands
of patriotic American heroes who have voluntarily decided to sign up for multiple
tours in Iraq. Even a 26 year-old member of the Washington National Guard said he
will be signing up for his third tour, this, right after he won a million dollar
jackpot. True Americans.
On the economic front, news came that our economy has slowed to a crawl. Not ones
to be deterred by reality, House Democrats responded by approving $18B in new taxes
on oil companies. Oh, and Barney Frank did his part by working hard on a plan that
would allow the government to buy homes whose values had dropped below the cost
of the mortgage. No reason homeowners who bit off more mortgage debt than they could
swallow should suffer the consequences.
In other news, as the US deployed warships to the Mediterranean due to mounting
tensions in Lebanon, Congress was hard at work debating whether to follow the lead
of 5 states and issue a formal apology for slavery. Oh, and those wacky Dems also
managed to find $10 billion in extra money (our tax dollars) in a last ditch effort
to save the farm bill. (For those of you who are government-school educated, this means paying
people not to work)
Back in the Senate, Speaker Nancy Pelosi was busy taking a principled stand
by demanding, once again, a grand jury investigation into whether White House Chief
of Staff, John Bolten, and former counsel, Harriet Miers should be prosecuted for
contempt of Congress. Alas, Attorney General Mukasey declined, stating no violation
of the law had occurred.
Nancy’s week wasn’t a complete loss, however. She and her fellow Dems were able
to hand a nice gift to terrorists by delaying a vote on a wiretapping bill, thus
allowing terrorists free and unfettered communications to plot our demise. Big smiles
Meanwhile, one of those people Nancy represents, a special forces hero, gave his
life in a daring bid to save 15 comrades after they were cornered by seventy Taliban
gunmen. There was very little media coverage
of this, possibly to cover the fact that everyday Americans are the heroes, not
Also in the news: An undercover investigation showed that 3 of 4 Islamic mosques
in the US are preaching anti-Western hate. We also found that thousands of illegal
aliens are still in American flight schools. Alas, the FBI was too busy doing the
people’s business to give more than passing notice to that news. They had their
hands full opening an investigation into whether or not Roger Clemmons lied to Congress
when he denied taking steroids.
Based on the dedication, sacrifice and determination being exhibited by our democratic
public servants, they think it is only fair that they have free reign to run the
world. They have shown how sensitive and caring they are. They have promised that
the war will magically end if they are returned to the Oval Office. They have promised
to shield not only our feelings from nasty hate-mongers, but our pocketbooks
from the consequences of our economic decisions.
With the Dems in power, we will never have to worry about anything, ever again.
That's what government is for. Our public servants will handle everything, leaving
us to focus on ourselves. We will achieve utopia and live happily ever after. Vote
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