Obama's Magical Mystery Tour|
July 21, 2008
After a week of intense
media foreplay, Obama has finally embarked on his magical mystery tour. As he boarded the plane that took him on the first leg of his anxiously
awaited Middle East and European tour, a pair of uniformed Air Force officers saluted simultaneously,
as they do each time President Bush boards Air Force One.
As the media-anointed President in waiting, Obama is virtually guaranteed superstar
non-stop media coverage as he makes his taxpayer financed 'fact finding' tour this
week. Joining him on this excellent adventure are all three of the major network anchors who will cover his every step, endlessly. The
world anxiously awaits.
Obama's visit to Iraq is ostensibly to assess the situation on the ground in order
to lend credibility to his already formed opinion of the war in Iraq. In a masterful
political move, somewhat akin to inspecting the barn after the horses have already
escaped, Barack, with perfect 20/20 hindsight will most likely opine that yes, the surge seemed
to have helped matters abit. He will then segueway into his firm, absolutely firm
view, which, by the way, he has held for over 4 months, that now is the time to
start bringing troops home.
Perky Katy Couric, with the appropriate oohs and aahs, will then proclaim to the world how
utterly prescient and, well, presidential Obama is to have suggested the solution
to the vexing Iraq problem way before any of the experts did. The only question
remaining is how many times perky Katy will flip her hair as she gazes coyly up at
Obama through lowered eyelashes.
Having been thus established as an astute visionary and world leader, Obama will leave the battlefield
and, safely out of harms way (Thank-God!) will proceed to Europe where a hero's
welcome awaits. Foreign newspapers are in a frenzy of Obama
adoration, describing our
most liberal Senator as "The John Kennedy of our time." In another extremely
savvy move, Europe's modern day JFK astutely left Michelle at home, ensuring his
sole presence in the spotlight.
Obamamania is sweeping the continent with seventy percent of Italians, 67 percent
of Germans, 65 percent of the French and 49 percent of Britons saying they would
vote Obama. If only they could vote. Who knows, if Obama gets elected president,
maybe someday they will.
The script has been written. Obama is the president of
the world, in waiting. If only all Americans realized, like Obama, that priority
number one is to get the world to like America again. Europe is yearning to lend
America the benefit of their vastly superior expertise in world matters. And Obama
is ready and more than willing to point out how America could benefit by adopting
a more, well, European world view. After all, aren't we all citizens of the world?
As Obama continues to 'gather facts' and dazzle foreigners
with his erudition, charisma and well cut suits, our US media stars will take this rare opportunity to get to
know their much admired fellow elites in the foreign media.
Having likely written their news stories before leaving for Iraq, our network
anchors will have plenty
of time to explore in depth
their commonalties with their foreign
counterparts. Namely, a deep dislike of America and
its system of capitalism and a deep fondness for socialism. America, they will all
agree, is the cause of many of the world's woes and let's elect Obama. A good
time will be had by all.
All of next week the media will breathlessly, endlessly report on what Obama ate for breakfast, his dynamic repartee with (other?) heads of state, his fondness for French
food and, gee, look how the world adores him. Yawn.
Meanwhile, back at home, John McCain will be struggling valiantly to address the
issues that affect our country. Stuff like the threat of terrorism, rising gas prices
- boring policy talk which,
thankfully, won't be reported.
If only the rubes in flyover country, you know, the ones that actually vote, were
as sophisticated as the elite media and Obama. Unfortunately, average Americans
stopped playing the popularity game once they graduated high-school. Nuance is lost
on them, and they have yet to realize that Obama is, as John McCain said, "The One".
Well, things will change this week. The media will make clear that the world wants
and needs Obama and the boring details
of policy and issues will matter little in the face of such overwhelming approval and mass adoration.
From our friends and enemies alike.
It will be made crystal clear that once Obama is president, terrorists will
forsake jihad in favor of dialogue, tyrannical thugs will see the error of their
ways and world
peace will finally have a chance. And best of all - everyone will like us! Then
we will all live happily ever after.
Nancy Morgan is a columnist and news editor for
She lives in South Carolina
Article may be reprinted, with attribution