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The Week That Was  

Last Week
Nancy Morgan
October 22, 2007

Last week resembled a bad reality show. It started with 24/7 news coverage of Ellen Degeneres dog, Igy. It ended with 24/7 news coverage of Ellen Degenere's dog, Igy. The plunging death rate in Iraq was largely ignored, with the exception of McClatchy newspapers which ran a tear jerker about the poor cemetery workers in Iraq who, due to lack of bodies, were having a hard time feeding their families.
The Senate largely ignored all the good news from Iraq as they took up the serious business of dealing with the global warming crisis, crafting a bill that will affect every segment of the U.S. economy. Meanwhile, Senate Leader Harry Reid was busy wiping egg off his face as the smear letter he and 41 of his cohorts sent to Rush's boss, demanding an apology, sold on EBAY for $2,100,100.
As Reid was busy putting the best spin possible on his self-inflicted humiliation, his counterpart in the House, Speaker Pelosi, was busy poking a stick in the eye of one of our most crucial allies. Her fellow Dems signalled retreat and left Nancy holding a failed resolution to sanction Turkey for Armenian genocide 90 years ago. Turkey, meanwhile, recalled its U.S. ambassador and the Turkish Parliament voted to allow Turkey to invade Iraq. This is what Democrats call 'diplomacy.' This is what conservatives call 'sabotage.'
Oh, and Elliott Spitzer ordered state officials to issue drivers licenses to illegal immigrants.
Libya won a seat on the UN security Council and Rep. Pete Stark, D-California commented, on the House floor, that Americans are dying in Iraq for President Bush's 'amusement.'
The Dow plunged 366 points and Google profits soared 46%. 3M decided to move more of its operations outside the U.S. to escape the punitive tax rates imposed on evil corporations. Meanwhile, pork barrel spending was set for next year, with earmarks for radical Hispanic group La Raza, a Library for Charles Rangel and numerous grants to study everything from fruit flies to rodents. Not to be forgotten - a whopping $1.7M for the CDC to fund a Hollywood liaison to advise doctor dramas. Meanwhile, on Monday the first baby boomer applied for social security benefits. One down, 80 million to go.
President Bush vetoed the expanded health care bill, SCHIPS leaving Democrats vowing to continue their fight 'for the children.' Meanwhile, in Britain, dental patients resorted to pulling out their own teeth as dental contract talks faltered.
In other health news, FDA issued a warning that use of Viagra could result in hearing loss. Researchers discovered a simple blood test that may be able to predict Alzheimer's and cancer rates were found to be falling faster than ever. Thank-you, pharmaceutical companies.
Vienna hosted the world's first 'Divorce Fair,' and India hosted the 'World Toilet Summit.'
Speaking of 'toilet summits', Hillary's negatives shot up, with a full 50% of those surveyed saying they would never vote for her. The LA Times uncovered more hard evidence of Chinese funny money in Hill's campaign just as a federal judge ruled in her favor on one of her 2000 fund-raising imbroglios...The press largely ignored these 'alleged' felonies, being otherwise occupied trying to revive the discredited Valerie Plame affair, as Plame took center stage, once again, on 60 Minutes, to hawk her new book. Plame now holds the rare distinction of having a book debunked before it's published.
Nobel Prize recipient, Dr James Watson, got a taste of the left's version of diversity, as he was pilloried for suggesting IQ may vary among different races. For such a smart guy, Dr Watson should have been aware of the consequences of challenging the leftist orthodoxy that all cultures, races and people are equal. Despite numerous mea culpas, and the left's fondness for 'redemption' and 'moving-on,' Dr Watson was fired from his research institution. Next step: rehab to correct his thinking.
Meanwhile, Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan was cheered by thousands in Atlanta as he urged black America to separate from white America. Where is John Edwards when you need him?
On the campaign trail, Sen McCain followed Sen Brownback's lead and tried pandering for the black vote by asking the Senate to apologise for slavery. Brownback dropped out of the presidential race. McCain last seen appearing with 92 year-old Mom. Otherwise, a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
AlGore continued to refuse to debate global warming, despite a $100,000 payout promised by Steve Milloy of junkscience.com. New research shows that the cost of installing energy-saving measures such as solar panels would take more than 200 years to recoup, and the cost of basic food items continued to rise as more grain is used for ethanol production. Speaking of  research, Live Science reported on a new study that suggests that people are influenced by gossip about others, even when it contradicts what they see with their own eyes.  AlGore got a 'D' in Natural Science at Harvard.
Across the pond, in the UK, six riot police wearing protective gear stormed a pub after a fellow lit a cigarette. French transit workers brought France to its knees, with unions protesting a Sarkozy pension reform. 
Planned Parenthood faces 107 criminal charges. A middle school in Maine voted to make birth control available to 11 year-olds and Harry Potter fans found out that Albus Dumbledore, master wizard and headmaster of Hogwarts, is gay just as Philadelphia decided to punish the Boy Scouts for their non-inclusiveness (liberal speak for morally objecting to the gay lifestyle) by raising their rent $199,000. That'll teach em.
Last, but not least, New Scientist reports: A possum has set an enviable record for doing absolutely nothing. After stuffing itself full of food in a laboratory, one curled up and hibernated for 367 days.
That was the week that was.
Nancy Morgan is a cloumnist and news editor for www.RightBias.com
She lives in South Carolina.
Article may be reprinted, with attribution

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