The Gospel According to Don|
April 1, 2013
Author's Note: although Jesus never specifically condemned it, I think
wearing snow boots with your mini skirt after Easter is a sin. But that's just
my holistic interpretation of the Scriptures. What's true for this author may
not be true for you.
I have an old friend named Don who graduated from college twenty years ago. He
has tried every get rich scheme in an effort to retire early and enjoy the good
life. Now that he's in his forties and has nothing to show for it, he's decided
to take the biggest shortcut in life: he's joined the Democratic Party.
Don started smoking pot every day in college. Unlike most pot smokers he never
grew out of it. So he suffered the side effects of pot including laziness and
inattention to personal hygiene. These are among the reasons none of his get
rich schemes worked. In every business venture, no matter how temporary, one
must be on time, responsive, and well kempt. Pot interferes with all of these
Daily pot use led him to failure, which, in turn, led him to liberalism as a
means of rationalizing his personal failure. In 2009, Don came by my office to
discuss the TARP bailout. I told him why I opposed the bailout in principal and
in accordance with my concerns over its long term economic consequences. Don
told me we needed TARP because ultimately the government had to take over the
banking industry. He spoke of the evils of greed, insider trading, and crony
capitalism. It's the kind of thing I heard every day in academia. So I just
changed the subject.
Failure in business can cause someone like Don to jump ship and become an
economic liberal. The motivation for that switch is obvious. Desperate people
crave handouts. But at some point the former conservative who joins the
Democratic Party must make peace with the radical social policies of the
Democratic Party. For a while, I’ve wondered how Don would make that transition.
Last week, I found out when he decided to show up after four years of silence
and bomb my Facebook page. That's why I love Facebook. It's been reuniting me
with psycho ex-girlfriends and frenemies for years.
Don the ex-con (that's short for ex conservative) went right to one of my status
updates, which criticized the homosexual rights movement. In addition to a few
personal insults, he left a comment I am hearing with increasing frequency from
the so-called Christian Left. He said "Jesus never said anything about
homosexuality. EVER!" And so we are supposed to assume that anything Jesus was
not recorded as saying in the Bible is fair game.
First, as a matter of clarification, Jesus did condemn homosexuality. In the
first chapter of Romans, homosexuality is very specifically condemned. That book
was written by the Apostle Paul. But those weren't his words. He was speaking
the word of God. And Jesus is God. So the words belong to Him. Second, and
perhaps more importantly, things may not have been mentioned by Jesus because
they were obviously wrong, not because they were right. Furthermore, consider
the ramifications of assuming that things Jesus never specifically mentions are
Jesus never mentioned child pornography. Does that mean it is moral and
therefore fair game?
Jesus never mentioned female genital mutilation. Does that mean it is moral and
therefore fair game?
Jesus never mentioned insider trading. Does that mean it is moral and therefore
And, finally, Jesus never said anything about smoking pot every day, mooching
off your wife, and bombing your friends’ Facebook pages while they are at work
trying to earn a living. But decent people know some things just aren't right.
In fact, they are downright left.
When Don wakes up, lights another bowl, and logs onto Facebook he's going to
realize it was imprudent to pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the
barrel. And he'll likely offer another inane liberal rebuttal to my
well-reasoned remarks. When he does, I'll be sure to write a follow-up. It's how
I earn my living and avoid government handouts.
Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina
Wilmington and author of
Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting
Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand, due out in