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Cartoons
Cartoons Last Updated: May 26, 2017
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Late Night Jokes  
Last Updated: May 26
Courtesy: Newsmax


Conan
Wednesday Night, May 24

Today, President Trump was at the Vatican meeting with Pope Francis. The world leader who believes himself the embodiment of God on Earth said he’s a big fan of the Pope.

While he was there, President Trump gave Pope Francis several books written by Martin Luther King. Then Trump said, “In my opinion, King’s best books were ‘The Shining’ and ‘Pet Sematary.’”

During their meeting, the Pope gave President Trump a medal. Then Melania said, “Hey, if anyone deserves a medal here, it’s me!”

According to the Senate, President Trump’s budget is dead on arrival. In other words, Trump’s budget is covered by Trump’s healthcare plan.



The Late Late Show With James Corden
Monday Night, May 22

Donald Trump was away from the White House this weekend, so it was pretty much like every other weekend since he became the president.

But this time he was on his first international trip visiting several countries in the Middle East. His first stop was Saudi Arabia. Trump is visiting the Muslim nations as part of his "don't come to us, we'll come to you tour."

Trump spent over a year just trash-talking Muslims. Now he's going to go and visit them, which is a bit like when you bad-mouth your friend's ex and then they get back together.

Now, while in Israel, Trump visited a sacred historical site, the Western Wall. He wasn't praying at the wall, he was shopping. "This is beautiful stone, beautiful stone. How much does 2,000 miles of this wall cost?"


 
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Monday Night, May 22

Now, I don't know about you, but I've got a little extra pep in my step tonight because Donald Trump has left the country. Breathing a little easier. Federal judges, now would be a good time to reinstate that travel ban.

The Saudis know that the quickest way to Trump's heart is through his ego. So they put up Trump-themed billboards everywhere. Including one of his tweets, "Great to be in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Looking forward to the afternoon and evening ahead. #Potus-abroad."

They even put one of his tweets on the welcome sign. "Welcome to Riyadh. Rosie O'Donnell is a fat pig."

Somehow, the Saudi king always gets the U.S. president to bow. It happened to George Bush in 2008, and Obama in 2009. Trump gave Obama a lot of grief for that. So, there was "no way" Trump was going to bow when King Salman gave him the medal. Here he is going from the knees -- trying not to -- and the bow, and a little curtsy at the end there.

 
 
 

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
  Wednesday Night, May 24

Today, President Trump had his first meeting with Pope Francis at the Vatican. Everyone in the U.S. was watching closely and looking for some white smoke to see if we have a new president.

That’s right, Trump met with the Pope. Though it got weird when Trump was like, “Jesus only had 12 followers? Sad. His tweets must’ve been terrible!”

After their meeting, the Pope gave Trump a medal featuring an olive branch. When Trump received it, he asked, “Does this mean I can eat for free at any Olive Garden? Or just here in Italy?”


Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Wednesday Night, May 24

Today was a historic day, a holy day. His Holiness met His Bigliness at the Vatican today. President Trump happened to be in Italy so he stopped by to say hello to Pope Francis. It went well. There are no major incidents. Trump felt very at home at the Vatican. He said it reminded him of one of the bathrooms at his house.

The Pope made it clear he would like our president to join him in promoting peace, giving aid to the poor, and protecting our environment. The Pope is very persuasive. Unfortunately, Trump is only in year 70 of his 100-year deal with the devil right now. And he’s got a no-trade clause.

At the Vatican the leaders exchanged gifts. The Pope gave the president a collection of writings, as well as a medal depicting an olive branch, the symbol of peace. And President Trump gave the pontiff a “Make America Great Again” hat. And a box of Trump steaks.

So after their meeting, Trump said he would never forget what the Pope told him. Then he immediately forgot what the Pope told him.

 
                                
 
    Late Night With Seth Meyers
  Wednesday Night, May 24

President Trump and Pope Francis today had a 30-minute long meeting in the Pope’s private study. We don’t know what they talked about, but since it was only 30 minutes, we can assume it wasn’t confession.

Pope Francis met with President Trump today at the Vatican. “Bless you, my child,” said the Pope to the driver that took Trump away.

More people attended Broadway shows this year than attended the events of all 10 local pro sports teams combined. This according to Bryce’s PowerPoint entitled “Why I Should Be Allowed to Do Plays, Dad.”

An Ohio man recently proposed to his girlfriend at the finish line of a marathon. And she can never find out that he really said, “Will you carry me?”

 


 
 




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