Home    |     Forum    |     Stratfor    |     Video    |     Cartoons    |     Idiot Awards    |     Blog    |     Links               September 19, 2017    

Cartoons
Cartoons Last Updated: September 19, 2017
Courtesy: Pooki18


There are 75 cartoons available.


  



Late Night Jokes  
Last Updated: September 19
Courtesy: Newsmax


Conan
Monday Night, September 18

Over the weekend, President Trump retweeted a GIF of himself knocking Hillary Clinton down with a golf ball. In response, Hillary retweeted a GIF where she beat Trump by 3 million votes.

Today in New York, President Trump spoke before the United Nations General Assembly. There was an awkward moment when Trump looked into the audience and said, “Wait, how did you people get into this country?”

The big winner at last night’s Emmys was “The Handmaid’s Tale,” a show about a repressive society where women have no rights. It won Best Writing, Best Drama, and Best Mike Pence Fantasy.

A lot of people are angry about Sean Spicer’s cameo on last night’s Emmys. They’re also not thrilled to hear that Attorney General Jeff Sessions will be hosting the Latin Grammys.

 The charity organization Oxfam is renting out President Trump’s childhood home to refugees. It’s pretty cool; they’ve already rented out a room to a refugee on the run named “Melania.”

California Governor Jerry Brown is working on a plan to build two tunnels that will bring water to Southern California. Of course, it’s California, so one tunnel is for flat water, the other sparkling with lime.

The wife of Donald Trump’s ethics adviser was caught having sex in a car with a prison inmate. Can you believe that? Donald Trump has an ethics adviser.


The Late Late Show With James Corden
Monday Night, September 18

 In a speech to the United Nations General Assembly this morning, Donald Trump told world leaders that the U.N. needs to reform itself because it’s ineffective due to bureaucracy and mismanagement. And for the first time, every nation on Earth had a reason to come together: to roll their eyes at Donald Trump.

President Trump told the United Nations to reform itself, citing mismanagement. Then the United Nations told President Trump to reform himself, citing mismanagement.

 On Sunday, Donald Trump tweeted about North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, saying, “I spoke with President Moon of South Korea last night. I asked him how ‘Rocket Man’ is doing.” President Trump, you’ve already ruined enough; don’t ruin Elton John lyrics for us.

Next thing you know, he’ll be calling the prime minister of Australia Crocodile Rock.

A thousand bucks says Trump called him Rocket Man because he couldn’t remember the name of North Korea’s leader. Do you know what I mean? He’s like, “Oh hey, there you are, how is it going — Rocket Man? My Rocket Man buddy."

Last night here in Los Angeles was the prime-time Emmy Awards. The big winners last night were Donald Glover, Hulu, and former White House press secretary Sean Spicer. Spicer won best actor in a comedy for his role in Donald Trump’s administration.

 I’m kidding, of course! But Sean Spicer actually did make a cameo at last night’s ceremony and according to some reports, at the after party Spicer was the post popular guy in the room. And I just want to say, I think people are forgetting that this man lied to the American people, and should not be embraced. These Hollywood phonies kissing up to Sean Spicer are disgusting. I mean who did this, who are we talking about here? [shows photo of himself kissing Spicer]

Now I know you think that is a picture of me kissing Sean Spicer. But in the spirit of Sean Spicer: no, it isn’t.

Anyone ever have that feeling when you get a little drunk and then wake up the next morning and think, “Oh God, who did I kiss last night?” It’s a bit like that. Understandably, some people have been disappointed by this photo. In truth I’m disappointed by it as well. I have been reading a lot of harsh comments on Twitter today and I hear you loud and clear, truly I do. So much so I’m really starting to regret that Carpool Karaoke that we’ve taped with Steve Bannon. Feels like a mistake today.


 
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Thursday Night, September 7

Republicans wanted to raise the debt ceiling to cover the next 18 months so the Democrats couldn't use it as a negotiating tool before the midterm elections. Democrats wanted to cover only three months, and they convinced Trump, possibly right at this moment when Chuck Schumer [shows pic of Schumer and Trump] appears to be saying, "Who's a good president? You are! You are!"

So why did Trump side with the Democrats? People at the meeting say he was anxious to get a deal done fast. In fact, a senior Republican source described Trump as being in "Apprentice" mode. Yes, he was in "Apprentice" mode, which explains why he kept calling Schumer "Senator Meatloaf."

Technically, I guess Steve Bannon wasn't fired, because on the day he left, the administration issued a statement: "White House chief of staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually agreed today would be Steve's last day." Yes, it was mutual. Same way my college girlfriend and I mutually agreed that she'd be happier having sex with Gary.

 
 
 

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
  Monday Night, September 18

Here in New York City, everyone is at the U.N. That’s right, the U.N. General Assembly kicked off today, and I read that 193 countries will be attending. They’re all committed to one goal: making New York City traffic a total nightmare.

Yesterday, Trump posted a tweet where he referred to Kim Jong Un as “Rocket Man.” Which beats the other nickname he gave him, Lil’ Kim.

Today is Ben Carson’s 66th birthday. It’s a little different on Ben Carson’s birthday. He actually OPENS his eyes to make a wish.

 I read that Prince Charles may not live in Buckingham Palace when he becomes king. Then Queen Elizabeth said, “When he becomes king? I love your optimism, Chuckie.”

A married couple in Louisiana was arrested after filming themselves having sex in a Walmart and a Burger King. Of course they were very embarrassed, so they told their friends it was a Target and a Wendy’s.


Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Thursday Night, September 14

The president and his wife were in Florida today to look at the damage caused by Hurricane Irma. Trump cares very deeply about the state of Florida. Almost every weekend since he was sworn in, he has personally flown to Florida to make sure there were no hurricanes there. Sometimes he even carries a golf club to fend them off.

There was a lot of fuss about the high-heeled shoes Melania wore when she visited Houston after Hurricane Harvey. So today she wore the most somber footwear in her closet: a pair of $750 Chanel flats.

Hillary Clinton is promoting her new book. She told Anderson Cooper that a lot of people come up to her now to apologize for not voting. And when they do that, she says she doesn’t forgive them. I guess she used all her forgiveness up on her husband.

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked about Clinton’s book. She said she thought it was sad. Which is true. I mean, it is — I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who’s planning to read it, but at the end of the book, Donald Trump becomes president.

 
                                
 
    Late Night With Seth Meyers
  Thursday Night, September 14

Sen. Ted Cruz yesterday responded to the reaction to his Twitter account “liking” a pornographic tweet, and said that “people ought to be able to do what they want in their own bedrooms.” Although after hearing about Ted Cruz watching porn, nobody feels like doing anything in their bedrooms anymore.

 In an interview with CNN yesterday, Hillary Clinton said that the Electoral College “needs to be eliminated.” “Same with regular college!” said Betsy DeVos.

A company in California will unveil the world’s first talking sex robot in January. Because that’s what people who buy sex robots want: follow-up questions.

 


 
 




Must See!: Exclusive photos of Obama as a child!














Contact Us    Advertise With Us