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Cartoons
Cartoons Last Updated: March 30, 2015
Courtesy: Pooki18


There are 67 cartoons available.


  



Late Night Jokes  
Last updated: March 26
Courtesy: Newsmax


Conan
Wednesday Night, March 25

After years of bashing Obamacare, tea party candidate Ted Cruz just signed up for it. And next week he plans to get gay married at Planned Parenthood.

 A new report says the U.S. faces a severe shortage of doctors. In fact, things got so bad that yesterday a triple bypass was performed by Dr. Dre.

NASA's Mars rover has just completed a marathon traveling 26.2 miles. And once again it was beaten by a Mars rover from Kenya.

A pitcher for the Chicago Cubs who was supposed to start a spring training game accidentally drove to the wrong stadium. The Cubs pitcher realized he was at the wrong stadium the moment he saw hope in the eyes of a fan. 


Late Show With David Letterman
Wednesday Night, March 25

How many of you intentionally don't pay your taxes? Me, neither. Whenever I go there to my accountant's office, I'm taken up in the elevator blindfolded. I said, "I'm worried about having money for retirement." He said, "Don't worry, you'll get your cut."

We have Donald Trump and Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham all running for president. It's all part of the Republican plan to make Jeb Bush look presidential.

And by the way, did you know that Ted Cruz was born in Canada? Now Canada has released this statement: "American voters should be aware that while presidential candidate Ted Cruz was in fact born in Canada, he has renounced his Canadian citizenship." One down, one to go.

Mitt Romney, two-time presidential campaigner, will step into the boxing ring and he will be fighting Evander Holyfield, who, to my knowledge, has never run for president.


 

 
 
 

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
  Wednesday Night, March 23

 Yesterday presidential candidate Ted Cruz said that he will in fact be signing up for Obamacare despite saying earlier that he wants to repeal every word of it. It's a good thing he's signing up, because Cruz just went to the hospital in hypocritical condition.

A new poll shows that TV presidents featured on shows like "The West Wing," "24," and "Battlestar Galactica" have a higher favorability rating than President Obama. But he's not the only politician that people prefer fictional characters to. Instead of Texas Governor Rick Perry, people prefer any male soap opera actor over 50.

Today Zayn Malik announced that he is officially leaving One Direction. They asked him, "Where are you going?" He said, "Another direction."

Kraft Foods and Heinz will merge to create the fifth largest food and beverage company in the world. The merger will combine brands like Kraft Mac & Cheese, Heinz ketchup, Oscar Mayer wieners, and Philadelphia cream cheese. Or as stoners put it, "Already did that, bro.”


Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Monday Night, March 23

The first known candidate to enter the presidential race in 2016 is Texas Senator Ted Cruz. Announcing your candidacy before everyone else does is kind of like being the first celebrity to show up on the red carpet at the Oscars. It's not a great thing.

Chelsea Clinton is here tonight. Chelsea's here to promote the "Serve a Year" campaign. A lot of celebrities do this. They serve a year, sometimes less with good behavior.

UCLA will play Gonzaga in the NCAA tournament. Gonzaga comes from the land of imaginary schools that only exist during March Madness.

Most NCAA office pools are illegal. That's what makes it so exciting — the thrill of potentially doing hard time for circling the word "Valparaiso" on a piece of paper. It's sad that the one thing that we actually enjoy about work is against the law.   

 
                                
 
    Late Night With Seth Meyers
  Wednesday Night, March 25

Zayn Malik has officially left One Direction. I saw this coming as soon as he started dating Yoko Ono.

Ted Cruz is signing up for Obamacare. This is like finding out Jenny McCarthy went in for a flu shot.

Burger King stores in Japan are reportedly planning to sell Whopper-scented cologne for those special occasions when you want to smell like the inside of a fat guy's car. You probably have the surrounding odors. Save your money.

A new restaurant in New York has just opened and serves dishes made only from food scraps donated from other restaurants. Said Arby's, "They're on to us, every man for himself.”

In some good-luck news, a man coming out of surgery has won $7 million on a lottery ticket that was tucked in his get-well card. And after paying his hospital bills, he still has $900 left.  

 


 
 
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