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Cartoons
Cartoons Last Updated: May 23, 2016
Courtesy: Pooki18


There are 81 cartoons available.


  



Late Night Jokes  
Last Updated: May 22
Courtesy: Newsmax
       

      

Conan
Thursday Night, May 12 

Donald Trump is now saying that his proposed ban on Muslims was "just a suggestion." Then he admitted his presidential campaign is "just a bar bet."

Here in California, a white supremacist has resigned from being a Donald Trump delegate. When asked why, the white supremacist said, "Because that guy's crazy."

During the Republican convention in Cleveland, an artist is going to photograph 100 nude women to make a statement.

The statement is, "This is the only way to get people to Cleveland." The FBI just announced yesterday that fewer and fewer Americans are going off to join ISIS. Or as Fox News reported it, "Once Again, Jobs Drop Under Obama."

The producers of the X-Men movies say their next X-Men movie will take place in the 1990s. In it, the X-Men use their superpowers to try and stop the Backstreet Boys.

At this moment, a 7-Eleven cashier from Connecticut is trying to become the first woman to climb Mt. Everest seven times. She said, "If I can survive a 7-Eleven hot dog, I can survive anything."

Google has created several new emojis aimed at empowering women. So congratulations women, you asked for equal pay and you got five new emojis.     
      


Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Thursday Night, May 19

Ed Rendell tried to help Hillary Clinton by attacking her opponent, saying, "Trump's comments, like 'you can't be a 10 if you're flat-chested,' will come back to haunt him." And then Rendell helpfully added, "There are probably more ugly women in America than attractive women. People take that stuff personally." Yep, I have a feeling a lot of women are about to take that really personally.

The National Parks Service is so desperate for cash that they just announced that, for the first time, they are going to solicit corporate sponsorship. Pretty soon, those sequoias could be brought to you by Viagra. Remember, if your redwood lasts more than 2,000 years, call your lumberjack!

One of the ways that Trump is treating the convention like a reality show is holding off announcing his running mate. As one Trumpling said, "Announcing the vice-presidential nominee before the convention is like announcing the winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice' before the final show is on the air." It's an apt metaphor, because this year's Republican convention will be the series finale of America.   
 


 
The Late, Late Show With James Corden
Thursday Night, May 19

Google has been testing self-driving cars and yesterday they filed a patent for a new safety feature called pedestrian glue. How it works is if the driverless car hits someone, it releases a glue-like coating so that the person will stick to the hood instead of bouncing off.

Now, some car companies might focus on making cars that don't hit people. Not Google. No way. So if one of these cars hits you, you will be spread-eagled, stuck to the hood as the car slowly rolls to a halt, because that was the problem with getting hit by a car before: It just wasn't embarrassing enough.

The driverless car thing seems like it's really catching on lately. In fact, the ride sharing company Uber has begun testing driverless cars on the streets of Pittsburgh. Finally, Uber found a way to make out-of-work actors even more out of work.

But don't worry, for all of you who love Uber, the experience isn't really going to change. To keep in line with Uber's brand, their driverless cars will be programmed to smell like cologne and also make female passengers really uncomfortable.

Honestly, this whole driverless Uber thing is unnecessary. All you have to do now is get hit by one of those Google cars, and just hope it's going where you are going. You'll be fine.

This week a California man recorded his wife giving birth, and accidentally live streamed it to the world on Facebook. I've heard of people on Facebook oversharing, but ovary sharing?

 
 
 

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon
Thursday Night, May 19

The New York Times just did a big profile on Donald Trump, and revealed that he has life-sized portraits of Ronald Reagan and John Wayne at his campaign headquarters. And if you don't see them right away, it's because they're right behind a 25-foot tall portrait of Donald Trump.

For the third year in a row, Washington, D.C., was named the fittest city in American, mainly because Michelle Obama goes around slapping pizza out of everyone's hands.

CBS announced that season 33 of "Survivor" will be called "Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X." It'll start in September, and end 20 minutes later when both teams realize there's no Wi-Fi.

The Wall Street Journal just reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, "I'm doing this for America."


Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Wednesday Night, May 11

A baby was born in India to what is believed to be the world's oldest mother. She's 72 years old, and her husband is 79 years old. They said they've wanted a baby for many years but they wanted to all be in diapers at the same time.

Speaking of old people surrounded by screaming young people, Bernie Sanders won the primary last night. For a guy with no chance of winning, he sure does seem to win a lot.

Hillary Clinton could lose all the remaining primaries and she'll still get the nomination, but at this point Bernie has a better chance of being drafted by an NBA team than being the nominee.

Trump is still out there taking aim and most recently, Trump gave Bernie Sanders a nickname. Now we have Crazy Bernie, Lyin' Ted, Little Rubio and Crooked Hillary — it's like the Spice Girls.

Paul Ryan and Ted Cruz are saying they're not ready to support Donald Trump. What do you have to do to get ready to support someone? Is it like getting a wax?

 
                                
 
    Late Night With Seth Meyers
  Thursday Night, May 19
 
 Vice President Joe Biden today urged Americans to have an uncomfortable conversation about race relations. And he would know, because he's had lots of them.

Despite her promises to be tough on Wall Street, a new report has found that groups supporting Hillary Clinton have received $25 million from the financial industry using so-called shadow banks. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders has received a new waffle iron for opening a savings account.

According to a new report, Spain's federal debt is now greater than their gross domestic product. Spanish citizens are so upset, they could barely sleep all afternoon.


 


 
 
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